Feeling a bit off.

For a while now, I've been thinking and feeling like things weren't exactly right. Not so much physically, but spiritually and emotionally, I knew that I wasn't where I was supposed to be. I kept trying to push away the tugging that I was feeling, I didn't want to come back to where I knew was good. I wanted to fix things. I was in charge, and I knew what was best for me when it came to this problem.

Oh boy, was I wrong! I'm human just like the rest of us, and that means my mistakes are just as dumb as everyone else's. (But who likes to admit that?!?) Recently, I'd been trying to make a relationship work that just wasn't meant to happen, and it wasn't what God wanted for me, and I knew this. It was one of those things I just wasn't ready to give up quite yet. But things didn't get any better. I felt like the decisions that I kept making after that were pulling me farther and farther away from my goal of serving and loving Christ with my everything.

But God is faithful, and he kept putting things into my path that would make me think about what I was doing. As we've been talking about Philippians in church lately, I've been becoming more and more aware that what I was doing was 100% selfish. Paul talks about this in Philippians 2:3, which affirms that one should "do nothing out of vain conceit or selfish ambition..." I was convicted right there on the spot. I kept thinking that I wasn't being selfish and conceited because I was acting in benefit of another person as well as myself, but that wasn't the truth. I was in denial. But what was I supposed to do about it?

I was supposed to stop. Stop doing what I was doing, and give up on what I was "trying" to make better by myself. I also realized that in order to fix something that is broken in terms of relationships, I had to ask for forgiveness, not only from the person, but also from God. I had to be forgiven before I could forgive. The only way I could make this better was to admit fault, and run to God. God would give me the strength and guidance (and conviction) to say the things that needed to be said and deal with things as brothers and sisters of Christ. I'm supposed to live in unity with this person, not make things more complex and crazy. Forgiving isn't easy, especially because I was so confused as to why I was being called to forgive. But regardless, I knew that once I forgave this person and began to see them as a sibling in Christ, things would resolve much better than I could have ever imagined.

What did happen, you might ask? After praying about it and talking to some great people, I talked to the person. I said that I was wrong and that I knew that God was working in me to forgive and show love instead of indifference and hatred. Things now are much, much better than they have ever been, and the relationship is now restored, but only because of the amazing grace and longings that God put in my heart.

Friends, relationships aren't easy. I know, they have their own issues and brokenness just like everything else in this fallen world. But we are called to live in unity and not let little issues get in the way of redeeming a broken relationship. Showing grace is an incredible task, and I can't stress enough how grateful I am for God's everlasting grace. He pulled me up by the bootstraps and told me to stop and forgive. I needed to resolve this so I could get back to my relationship with Christ that I was longing for each and everyday.

And in closing, here is a verse that has helped me remember what I am called to do:
Hebrews 12:1-3
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, 2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3 Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

Run with Perseverance, Brothers and Sisters.

blessings in disguise

Sometimes I realize that I'm super blessed regardless of how many times I screw up.  Most often, these blessings come in disguises. Today, this disguise was the mask that we all tend to wear around this time of the year (the dreaded finals week). This mask is frustration, exhaustion, and perhaps the worst, anger.

These masks often cover up things that I should be thankful for.

Do you know what i'm thankful for today? I'm thankful for best friends. I'm thankful for friends who understand exactly what's going on in your life without you having to even say more than a few words. These are the people who truly understand who I am, what I struggle with, and they know who I want to be. These people keep me on track, and help encourage me to get back on track with who I want to be, and steer me away from what I could easily become.

Sometimes we all need a reminder of who we really are, and we need someone to encourage us along the way. That's what friends are for. Great discussions and encouragement even though you've had a rough day/ week are exactly what those blessings in disguises must be for, right? God just loves to surprise me everyday, no matter what.

I'm striving to be more intentional with my actions and thoughts. I should be living my life everyday for the glory of the Lord, and not just for myself. I can do nothing by myself. God is supreme and he deserves my full attention and everything I do is because of him, why should I not live for him? He's given me so much, and so often I take it for granted.

That's just something that always puts things into perspective for me...

Prayers for my friends and classmates as we finish up our semester and finish with tests and papers and projects.

you belong here.

Sometimes, I just wonder what it would be like if certain things hadn't happened the way that they have happened. Not that I want to change things in my life, but we all have our moments of doing things we regret, whether these things are actions or behaviors or even just things that we consider doing. Although these actions may be relatively harmless, they can build up and break apart everything that you have worked for. That's when things get scary.

Everything seems to fall apart, and you lose control. Not just control over the situation, but you begin to lose control over whatever else is going on in your life. Slipping away from everything you know, you begin to wonder what it is that could be going on in your life that needs rethinking.

This always seems to be the moment where I always begin to consider how broken I am, how I am a sinner, and how wicked my actions are. We all sin and we all screw up. But there is hope. There is hope in something bigger than my brokenness, bigger than ALL brokenness. What is it, you ask? It is grace. Grace takes the most wicked among us and turns us into a beautiful creation. Grace transforms brokenness into beauty, broken hearts into hearts full of love and passion, and the love and passion can then flow through us.

Brokenness is made beautiful. MY brokenness. MY stupid moments. It is all beautiful now.

These are the moments that you have when you are driving down a back road in utter silence and you take in the beauty, beauty of the silence, beauty of the stillness, beauty of the friends who allow you to be who you truly are, and beauty despite your brokenness. Grace surrounds you.

In the moment, things may never seem ok. But my mistakes are what make me who I am. My mistakes are redeemed by grace. I don't need to change a thing.

I belong here.

who needs enemies when we've got friends like you?

It has now been a month since I've moved into JBU. I am so thankful that God has given me a school that fits me so perfectly. JBU is an absolutely amazing place, and I've made some exceptionally great friends here in my first month of school.

It is really nice for me to be in a place where I can be genuine. I can be me, and no one has to judge me for who I am anymore. I am free of all the burdens of my past, and I turned a new leaf when I started school here. I am the person I am meant to be, and I know this is where and who I am supposed to be at this time. Every chapel speaks to me in a new way, every loving friend shows Christ to me, and my teachers teach me what I am learning in a way that glorifies the Lord. I have never found a place that fits me so well, until now. This is not about me. This is God working through me. And, for that, I am eternally grateful.

I know this is the right place for me when I walk through the Quad, and step onto the Concourse in front of the Cathedral. I get chills every time I realize that me being here is God, and that I am a legacy in the making. I'm a third generation attendee at JBU. I see my Grandfather's brick, and know I'm here because of the love of God and the love of my family. I treasure every moment I have on campus. I feel like a different person here, and even though I'm not a different person than I was before, I just feel like I'm finally in a place that I was made for.

We have so many reasons to be thankful. I'm thankful for the faithfulness of my Grandfather and my family's dedication to this school whose mission is to teach students to be strong Christians, and to put Christ Over All.

To you who read this, thank you. It does mean a lot to me that you read this.

Fly with Christ,
Elizabeth (Liz) Mathers.

Inevitable.

This is now the hard part of my summer. The long awaited college move-in day is now 22 days away. It's time to pack up, it's time to move on. And, my least favorite part. It's time for goodbye.

I didn't realize how hard it would be to move just one mile away from the world I know. The world I love, and the familiar world i've grown up in and where i've grown to be the person I am in. I'm transitioning into the unfamiliar. The world of college. The world of fun and hard work.

I can hardly wait to get going, but i'm never going to be ready to leave. Part of me is still struggling to understand why I'm not having an easy time with this. It's that same part of me that gets hit in the face with a 2x4 every once in a while by God. I call those moments my tough love moments. I'm scared of the transition. But my heart knows that God is with me, and it might be hard, and I might cry, and I'll probably make mistakes and be incredibly homesick and all of that, but I know God is with me. God knows me, and he'll protect me, and he'll allow me to make mistakes, but he still loves me, and he'll drag me back to the path of his love and light.

The moral of the story. Jesus is great. He loves me, even though I make stupid mistakes, and he's not leaving me just because I'm moving away from home. I'm leaving things I love...but I can never leave God, and He'll never ever leave me.

I don't need to shy away from change. Change is inevitable. Changes are good. Changes make me grow. I'm a butterfly who should remember that I'm a beautiful creation of God. He made me to be who I am, and I am his princess. I need to remember, also, that fear is not coming from God. The love of Christ takes away fear. God will protect me from what I don't know. The unknown is the fear I struggle with. Which is a totally selfish and stupid fear. :)

The thing is, I am ready to go in my heart. My head tells me otherwise. Sigh...

Time to Say Goodbye.

My long four years are officially over. I have my diploma(cover). I'm a high school graduate. I have had my share of fun, disaster, and tears of joy and sadness. I'm done. There are many of you who I'll miss. There are some who I wish I would have gotten to know better. But, I love you all. My fellow classmates and friends, this is for you.

This is Phillipians 1:3-11. This is one of my favorite passages that Paul wrote. It really captures what I want to say to everyone. Paul knows that God, who began a good work in you, will finish it. Completely. This is so incredibly encouraging.

³I thank my God every time I remember you. ⁴In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy ⁵because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, ⁶being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

⁷It is right for me to feel this way about all of you, since I have you in my heart; for whether I am in chains or defending and confirming the gospel, all of you share in God's grace with me.⁸God can testify how I long for all of you with the affection of Christ Jesus.

⁹And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, ¹⁰so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, ¹¹filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God.

If you didn't know this about me, I really genuinely want everyone to be happy. I know that the way to true joy is through Christ. I want you to meet my most intimate friend. Christ Jesus. He's there whenever I need Him. Sounds cheesy, I know. But, it's not.

I want you to know that I pray this prayer for all of my friends. I want you to grow in love. Let your love grow as deep and as wide as the oceans, and spread Christ through your love. I want you to thirst for knowledge and insight. I want you to learn and know what is best, what is pure, what is blameless. I want you to be filled with the fruit of righteousness.

I want these things for myself as well. I want to show my love for Christ. I want to thirst for knowledge and insight. I want to learn more about God.

These are my prayers for the class of 2010. And, my prayer is for the hopeless, the hurting, the lost. I want them to have hope, to feel healed, and to be found. I want them to know Christ, the Savior of all.

With love.

Elizabeth Anne Mathers

The End.

This is the end. I'm done. It's the end of an era. A long expected end to a 13 year journey. A journey of discovery, friendship, fun, and learning. It is a long, hard, and harsh road. On this road, I have found things that help me through these times of learning and stress. These things I still cling to, and reflect on.

These are my precious things.

2 Corinthians 4:16-18

¹⁶Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.¹⁷For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. ¹⁸So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

Galatians 5:16-18

¹⁶So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. ¹⁷For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want. ¹⁸But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under law.

Romans 1:16

I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes: first for the Jew, then for the Gentile.

1 John 4:13-21

¹³We know that we live in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit. ¹⁴And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. ¹⁵If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in him and he in God. ¹⁶And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. ¹⁷In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him. ¹⁸There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.¹⁹We love because he first loved us. ²⁰If anyone says, "I love God," yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. ²¹And he has given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his brother.

Each of these verses or passages mean something to me. They remind me of the greatness of my God. The strength we have in Christ. I'll post more on another day. These are just a few I thought of tonight.

Prayers

• Graduation.
• Mission Trip Planning and the Trip itself
• ERP-Registering
• Chrysalis
• Moving